Coming of age is something that is hard to deal with, but eventually it happens. Some people experience this differently. Maybe it's an experience that they had that made them think about the world surrounding them differently, or it's a loss that has completely changed the course of this person's life.
Sickness and the loss of a close person is what changed the course of MY life.
When my grandfather got sick, my mother felt that she needed to spend time with her father who might not live to see her again. She left when I was in second grade. She left in April. Right after my birthday. She didn't come back until June. In those two months that she was gone, Everything changed for me. Since my father worked, I spend days with relatives. A few days with this aunt, a few more days with that aunt. I had really long hair that my mother loved to pin up in many different ways. She was always experimenting with my hair. And I liked that. But when she left, my father couldn't deal with the fact that he had to take me to my aunt's house every morning so she could do my hair. It wasn't like he was completely clueless, he just didn't know how. He tried to do pig-tails on me once, but they were crooked. One was higher than the other. So he stopped trying. eventually, he cut my hair slightly shorter than the size it is now. That sort of ended his troubles with my hair. All I did to my hair then was brush it and put little clips in it. Even though it made things easier for us, it made me sad. At the time, I didn't know that my mom would be back in 2 months. So when he cut my hair, I took that to mean that she wasn't coming back. My mom would wake up extra early every morning just to do something with my hair. She loved to. And when my hair was gone, it was as if she was gone too. The following year, my grandfather did die. It made my mom really sad. But i learned to appreciate her more. it was hard to live without her for 2 months.
That was how my character Riena was formed. she also strikes a strong connection with her mother Reina. But then her father dies, leaving her and her mother alone. Riena did not cry when her father died, but grieves his loss in silence. That's why it's hard for her to accept her mother's new boyfriend a few years later. She feels as if she just lost her father, and now she will lose her mother as well. She becomes selfish and refuses to accept her mother's new boyfriend. But, she soon realizes that, her mother has a right to be happy with someone else and go on with her life.
July 16, 2008
Dear Diary,
Today was so much fun!!! Mama took my to the hair salon and we both got our hair done. She cut hers and straightened it, and I curled mine. But I didn't cut it like she did. I wanted to, but she said no. She likes my hair long, and she won't let me cut it. I really want to... but I don't want to upset her. When we got home, Papi said that we were both looked muy bonitas. We ate dinner, and then I went to my room to 'study' and Mama went to take a nap. Papi went to watch el fútbol. I feel so sleepy. Tengo mucho sueño. I'm gonna go to sleep. Goodnight!!!!
THE TRAGEDY
Papi,
Porque te fuiste?
Why did you leave?
Porque me dejaste aqui?
Why did you leave me here?
I cant believe her!!! How could she do this to Papi? How could she go out and find some other guy to take his place??!! Papi isn't here anymore, but that doesn't mean he's gone for good!!! He's still here. Su alma nos cuida a nosotras! How could she do this to him?! Does she not love him? Was she already with this guy when my Papi was alive? How could she? No I won't let her do this to him. I love and respect my father. And if my mother doesn't or didn't love him and respect him completely, then i wont let her bring that... that... intruder into the house with us. No. If he comes by, and knock on the door, I will NOT let him in. I don't care if a volcano explodes in his face. I don't want him here and he shouldn't be here in the first place. I already have a father. No. He's not gone... he's not gone. he's still here with me. With us. But apparently she doesn't like that. She doesn't care about him anymore. All she cares about is "getting our lives back, and moving on with my father's..." She doesn't care about me. Doesn't care how I feel. I won't let that intruder in with us . With her. I won't let her do this to my Papi. Te quiero mucho Papi. Nunca lo olvides.
El se tiene que ir
He needs to leave
He's not my father
He's not you
He needs to leave
Yo no lo quiero aqui
I don't want him here
He doesn't belong here
Se tiene que ir
Maybe he's not that bad
He's terrible
He's just trying to be friendly
It's rude
He can't barge into someone else's home
He can't do that
But he makes mom Happy But he makes mom Happy
She smiles when she sees him
And she laughs at his stupid jokes
She really likes him She really likes him
Its the best for her
Papi always wanted that
Lo mejor
The best
see? maybe it's not so bad
Maybe
I'll give him a chance I'll give him a chance
Only one
Querido Papi,
I miss you. A lot. It's so strange coming home and not seeing your favorite beer in the fridge. And having to go into Mami's room and not see your cologne on the table and your favorite comfy chair in the corner with your towel over it. Remember when you refused to put it in the living room because you thought that when the relatives came, they would ruin it? You were being selfish. You always told me that being selfish, especially with family, is the worst thing you could do to our family. Do you remember that? I know you were probably scolding me a few weeks ago from heaven. I was being selfish with Mami. I wasn't letting her move on. I wasn't letting her move on because I couldn't move on. That makes me mean and selfish right? I know. I didn't think about it until I sat in your comfy chair and remembered all of the things that happened with that chair. I realized i was being selfish and i decided to give the guy a chance. Only one. And it was great. But even though he's super nice, and both him and Mami like each other a lot, I will never forget that you were the best father in the world.
Te quiere mucho tu hija,
Riena
